THE PUNGENT PUMPKIN
POISONER
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Sir Hamish Hogwash
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I am Sir Hamish Hogwash, aged 60, an amateur botanist living in a dilapidated manor house in Yorkshire. The Hogwashes made their fortune in the eighteenth century owning a plantation on the remote pacific island of Tunga Wonga. However since then a long line of gambling, ne’er do well Hogwashes have caused the family fortunes to dwindle. I take after these ancestors.
My cousin lives on the
plantation on Tunga Wonga. Recently a foreign power has started dumping
nuclear fuel on the island. Since this began, the local “pungent pumpkins”,
have been behaving strangely. Knowing my botanic interests, my cousin sent
me some pumpkins to experiment with. Their properties were so astounding, I
quickly realised that they had phenomenal commercial potential and I sent
them to the famous scientist
Professor Emmelius
Bunsen to investigate properly. The end result has been that the
Hogwashes now earn their entire income from importing pungent pumpkins from
Tunga Wonga and selling them to the Pungent Pumpkin Processing Company. |
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