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TOP NAZI KILLED IN CAR CRASH.
Herr Zealot, Nazi Party Leader for Salzburg, suffered a fatal car
crash on Saturday night. His Nazi staff car plunged a thousand feet
when it left the road while crossing the Hammerstein Mountains. He
was killed instantly.
Herr Zealot was returning home after attending a party hosted by the
Austrian Naval hero Captain Georg Van Tripp. Captain Van Tripp’s new
bride, the former Baroness Shredder of Vienna, was also in
attendance. Herr Zealot was driven to the party by his personal
aide, Rolfe, and it is as yet unclear as to why Herr Zealot elected
to drive himself home.
Nazi engineers are studying the car in an attempt to find the cause
of the crash. Herr Zealot, a close friend of Admiral Apfel Von
Strudel, was also a staunch Nazi and supporter of Hitler. His loss
will be much felt by the Third Reich.
SALZBURG MUSIC PAGEANT
The annual Salzburg Music Pageant Competition will take place next
Saturday. The aim of the Pageant is to unearth new Austrian singing
talent. This year’s competition will be hosted by “Musical Agent”
Max Dettweiler. Herr Dettweiler told the Trumpeter “I am really
excited about this year’s competition. We have some very unusual
acts entering.” The fears that the recent enforced occupation of
Austria by Germany would affect the competition have proved
unfounded. A top Nazi spokesman said emphatically “Nothing has
changed in Austria. Music and singing will prove this to the world.
Austria is just the same.” |
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SILVER REACHES ALL TIME HIGH
As the probability of war increases, the price of silver has reached
an all time high on the precious metals market. A wave of
speculative buying has erupted over the last few days. It is thought
the price of other precious metals will follow suit. After the
startling collapse of the Bank of Vienna a few months ago, investors
seem to be avoiding stocks and shares and investing in precious
metals and commodities instead.
UNDERGROUND
PRESS
It has come to the Reich’s notice that an underground newspaper
called “Halt Hitler” is publishing anti-Nazi propaganda. Obviously
this cannot be allowed to continue. If any responsible citizen has
any information about this disgusting rag, please contact the Nazi
Trumpeter immediately. STOP PRESS
Nazi engineers have revealed that the braking mechanism of Herr
Zealot’s car had been “significantly interfered with”. This suggests
his death was not the accident it presumed to be. A full post-mortem
on Herr Zealot’s body will now take place. It is thought that Nazi
officials will shortly be visiting the house of Captain Van Tripp.
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SING A LONG A SOUND
OF MURDER
